id be glad to
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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