He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
