Im at strip club and am horny
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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