I am puke
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
