I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
