Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
