she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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