I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
