U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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