Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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