dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
