I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
