youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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