How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
