o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
