How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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