lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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