There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
