This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
