and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Randomize
