well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
