I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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