is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Two words: blizzard sex
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
