Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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