check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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