I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
