Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
