what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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