who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
