right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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