Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We have started to decorate penises.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
