If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
