Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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