i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
