So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
