But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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