I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
