Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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