if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
