been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
