So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
