i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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