Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
