You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
