Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We have so much sex to catch up on
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
