Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
