I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
