I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
