I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
