That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
