I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
