What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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