If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
