I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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